Housewife and Wife

Motherhood is a profound physical and psychological experience faced by women. It is not easy and often comes with judgments and limitations. Nurturing and caring for our children should not be confined to specific norms. Women go through something that is not quite understood by half of society (men). It's not an official job; there is no degree or achievement. All your experiences are private and unique, but it is the hardest work of our lives as women. Motherhood means giving your best, not just following others' expectations.

As a wife and a mother, I am very aware of the weight of these roles. I constantly think about the social expectations and stereotypes surrounding how a mother or a wife should behave. Balancing our ambitions with family responsibilities is challenging as we move away from the traditional housewife role and adopt new definitions of these responsibilities.

Many women in my life have been successful in achieving this balance, even if it happened later in their lives. I want to share with you the story of my incredible mother, Huda AL Hasan, a remarkable family leader. At the beginning of her marriage, in her twenties, she supported my father in achieving his academic goals and later stayed at home to take care of her five children. However, she was not just a housewife; she was the leader of our family. She made difficult choices to ensure that we had a good life. In her thirties, she obtained her diploma in English language despite already having a computer science diploma. She wanted something new to push her forward and challenge herself, so she started working as a teacher and became respected and celebrated in every school she taught at. In her fifties, she began studying towards earning a bachelor's degree that would/enable her to a higher position in teaching. As her children, We saw her building a strong image of/reputation for herself while also managing and planning our family's financial needs. She is an effective contributor to our family's income, ensuring that we don't miss out on anything. As we matured, we found ourselves questioning her long-held beliefs. We engaged in heartfelt conversations about the significance of emotional and mental well-being within our family, addressing past traumas, and conveying our genuine needs and expectations from her as our mother. She worked on improving her ways of thinking to better understand and meet our new needs. Apart from that, she is a loyal partner and an amazing wife who always supports her husband and has his back, maintaining a beautiful relationship. Every day, she works on herself to become a better family leader. She didn't depend on anyone and didn't give up on any role or title. She made a powerful impact on our lives. Just think, if she had stayed at home without any ambition or goals in her life, our life would have been completely different. As a mother myself, I've learned not to define myself by mere labels, since each stage of my life is different. While I can choose to stay at home and take care of my children, I'm not limited by it. The important thing is to make the right decisions for the well-being of my family.

I believe our society should provide more support for mothers like mine who have made significant sacrifices. It was extremely challenging for her to manage everything on her own while handling numerous responsibilities at home. It’s important to redefine societal expectations and see women as capable leaders who can achieve their dreams, while also nurturing their families and maintaining their own identity. We must challenge outdated stereotypes and perceptions surrounding the role of women in the household. We should encourage women to be more unconfined, rather than feeling restricted. Having a strong support system, such as a supportive partner, family members, or reliable childcare, can greatly assist in managing household duties while pursuing personal and professional goals instead of expecting women to stay at home without any opportunity for personal development, or limiting them to homemaking, these responsibilities should be shared equally among all members of the household. I believe it is important to reconsider the term "housewife" as it can be seen as limiting and demeaning. The responsibilities of a woman who cares for her family go beyond domestic work, and her role should be recognized as more than just staying at home. Instead of "housewife," I prefer to use the term "family leader" to acknowledge the efforts and responsibilities she takes on. It is essential to recognize that women can pursue their ambitions while fulfilling their familial roles. Many women work outside the home and are still expected to manage all the domestic responsibilities independently. Taking away women's power by only associating them with homemaking is unfair. We are more than just homemakers; we are leaders within our families. At any point in our lives, we could make significant decisions that impact our households. It is not just about staying at home or having a job outside; it is about being recognized as equal contributors to the family dynamic and being supported and valued by society, regardless of our choices.

Written in English by: Mariam Firas

English Editor: Tarneem Maitham

Translated to Arabic by: Amna Jaleel

Arabic Editors: Murtaja Talib، Noor Al-Huda Talib & Tarneem Maitham

Translated to Kurdish by: Raz Abdallah